Wake-up call.

What We Want.

2009-01-30T19:54:00.000-08:00

so what is it in life that we all want? what do we want the most in the world?
is it money? wealth? love? being envied? approval?
none of the above.

we all want what we can't have, whether it's those christian louboutin shoes in the neiman marcus window, or that hot coworker that already has a boyfriend at home waiting for her. why is that. why do people always want things that are out of their reach, in other words, virtually unattainable?

is it because we've spent our whole lives wondering what it would be like to have the things we've never had? is it because we're conditioned to always shoot for the moon no matter what?

all i know is that i've been wanting for too long, even though i myself already know it'll be no good for me. and maybe i want it so bad because i know i'll probably never get it. cigarettes & high heels never seemed so appealing. together.

Yours truly,
YC

Skinny Bitch

2009-01-27T12:55:00.000-08:00

honestly, i think diets these days are overrated. yeah, i'm pretty thin compared to most people so some people may think i shouldn't even be voicing my opinion, but i do have things to say anyway. i've always believed that good genes combined with high metabolism will allow someone to be thin as opposed to others. i doubt that's the case anymore. so recently, i've come to realize that a good diet consisting of essential nutrients and other necessities and exercise are best.

i was in the university bookstore reading skinny bitch the other day. i absolutely love that book. yeah, the authors are pretty lippy and let out about twenty curse words a page, but the advice and research done are absolutely resourceful. no one wants to be a scrawny bitch, but a skinny bitch. so i guess it's a great read for girls out there who are looking for ways to slim down. the book mostly talks about how smoking, drinking, and doing bad things to our bodies messes us up, and why our bodies are made to be dominantly vegan, which i do agree. our bodies aren't made to digest high meat content, nor are our bodies made to consume a large amount of lactose from milk, cheese, and other dairy products.

so after reading a couple chapters, i had to go to class but i decided that some day, hopefully someday soon, i'll definitely go vegan. i'm almost there; i'm a pescetarian. the hardest parts would probably be giving up seafood and dairy products. i do love my sushi/sashimi/lobster/icecream/cheese/fondue. but if this sacrifice will lead to a healthier tomorrow, why not? there are a lot of alternatives out there, so hopefully i'll lead a much healthier life.

Yours truly,
YC

A New Year...

2009-01-18T22:12:00.001-08:00

so hopefully I'll have some new thoughts, ideas, and goals up my sleeve. as you can see, I haven't been around much; I've been doing some thinking during my long hiatus.

I'm ready to jump into the world, a new me, and try to move forward as optimistically and successfully as I can. 2008 was a really intense year for me. Good things happened. Bad things happened. Unthinkably bizarre things happened. The realization that you should be careful what you wish for because the world is so small hit me right between the eyes. But through all this, I really grew, psychologically. I feel like physical growth is nearly impossible since I've been the same for the past seven years. But even so, I've grown and matured.

2009. a year for discipline, hard work, appreciation, and most of all, love. Love for your family, your work, your blessings, and love for the ones you can't live without.

Yours truly,
YC

What You See...

2008-05-31T21:28:00.000-07:00

not exactly what you get. As you can see, I haven't been here in a while. Sadly, alcohol has taken a large toll on me, and not in the good way. But let's not go into details. Let's just say, shit happens when you least expect it. I've been pretty stressed about all that has happened to me in the past couple weeks, but I feel a little better. So I know in my last blog I said I wasn't an alcoholic. Okay. I'm not exactly an alcoholic, but of course I drink from time to time. But who doesn't? It's college for crying out loud. Let me just say this: getting fcuked up twice in one week is not the best way to let a week pass. It's horrible.

Of course I've already broken one of my new year resolutions when it comes to drinking excessively. Man, no more alcohol for a long time. I know I always say this but, I tend to like myself better when I'm sober. I can actually remember what's going on without the whole judgment impairment thing going on. So until then, I shall drink less. I'll let you know when I've relapsed.

On a better note, I took out my sewing machine and decided to sew again. Man it's been awhile. Embarrassingly, I almost forgot how to sew in a straight line. I would like to say that it was difficult since my table was so teeny, but that's not gonna cut it for me, so let's not go there, hehe. It felt really refreshing to sew again honestly. I really do wish I had a better sewing machine but, for now, I just have to make do with what I've got, so there. Hate to cut this short, but sadly I have better things to do then blog about nothingness, so until next time.

Yours truly,
YC

Misunderstood.

2008-04-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

Story of my life really. Sometimes, parents know what's best, but sometimes, they just don't understand. There are times that I just want to scream and curse at the world for its unfairness. Yeah, I can speak my mind to everyone, whether I care about them or not; just not my parents. It's hard to be young and unmotivated while trying to live up to their expectations. Yes, I do curse the world. Of course there needs to be balance, it's the basic concept of life I suppose: the yin and yang. For every thesis, there must be an antithesis. For all the bad luck in the world, there must be some amounts of good. Would the world really tip the scale if everyone could live fairly and happily? ...it probably would. I wouldn't know. I don't know the rules of the universe so whatever.

I feel as if the people who understand me the most are my friends, including my wonderful boyfriend of course. Most of us are all Asian, and are the first generations here. I know this sounds awfully stereotyped, but most parents of first generation Asian kids want their kids to do something great and lucrative so they can be financially stable and set for life. So they say. Well, I don't have a doubt in my mind that they think it's for the best. But I don't think they understand that pushing us to do something we don't want to won't necessarily make us happy. As a matter of fact, some people end up resenting for parents for life after that. I love and respect my parents with all my heart. I really do. I understand that without their guidance, I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am now: a respectful university, a proud advocate of drug awareness, and SURPRISE! a nonalcoholic. Well, until I muster up enough courage to tell them I'm ready to be independent, and free of elderly preaching, I'll sleep on it for another day.

Sigh.

Yours truly,
YC

Boo On Papers

2008-04-17T00:10:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you guys, but I never liked papers much. There's just something about them that bug me so much. I always seem to be attacked by the worst writer's block. I always feel like I'm reiterating everything, making me sound dumber than I already am. I swear, I do not have the ability to write a decent college paper; it's a freaking joke. And the thing is, I actually try to make them sound okay. My sleeping cycle's been out of whack too. I sleep around 3, wake around 9... 10 if I'm lucky. Kids, addiction and dependency on energy drinks are bad. SAY NO TO ROCKSTAR & RED BULL & MONSTER WHILE YOU STILL CAN, unless you drink them once in a while with Jager, but even still, excessive Jager bombs aren't good for you either. Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention in my last post, college has a tendency to turn regular students into regular participants of Tequila Tuesdays. As for me, I made it a resolution of 08 to drink way less than I did in 07. I've been doing pretty good. As of today since the new year started, I went to ONE party that was taking place at my apartment, and I didn't get drunk. So yay for me, miss Youqui Chi. :D So I figured, before I start selling my trash that potentially are other people's treasures, I'm gonna go take a trip to the post office down the street. It's really small and I've never been in there, so I don't know what kind of services are offered. So once I find out, I can hopefully start making some money. Hmm... I should probably major in Business or something, so I can get an idea of how to properly run a business, since that's what I pretty much want to do later on.

Wow, I told you I was a horrible writer. I went from writing about how I hate writing papers, to college drinking habits, to college majors. Talk about major digression. So I have a pretty busy day ahead of me starting around 9 in the morning. I need to make a short trip to the post office, counseling appointment, and a whole lot of studying that absolutely needs to get done. I really don't like studying. There's just something about sticking my head in books consistently for hours at a time, or doing practice problems over and over again until they're etched into my brain. Oh yeah, and hopefully I have enough time to work out. I haven't worked out in a while, and I feel pretty damn guilty for neglecting this body. Alright well, it's time for me to hit the sack. I'll be in bed before 1. Now that's the record of the week.

Yours truly,
YC

College.

2008-04-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

I've been a college student for a while now, and there are a lot of things I've learned. Graduating from high school, I didn't think college would have any down sides because, it's college. We live away from our parents, we don't have these idiotic curfews, and we're pretty much liberated from conformity and the shallow bitches of high school... or so I thought.

I'm not saying there's nothing great about college. College is the best time to meet new people, be active, and just have fun. I've gone to parties here and there, and I've met some pretty bright and colorful people. I don't know about the whole Greek society that goes on at colleges and universities. A lot of them represent honor societies for pharmacy students, or hopeful premeds. While some others seem to represent cheap glamour and incessant partying, which I'm sure is just a dirty stereotype that was hammered in my mind ever since I graduated from high school. But yeah, Greek is definitely not for me. Why do I need bros and sises when I have a real sister of my own?

Oh yeah, I'm sure everyone has heard of the freshman fifteen. Well, it happens. And then again, sometimes it doesn't. It was like the freshman negative five for me. When I was at home, my parents always made sure I never went hungry, even if they spent a shitload of time preparing the most delicious dishes. But now, I don't have that time and energy to cook for myself. As a college student, breakfast just doesn't exist. I wake up, eat BRUNCH if I'm lucky and have enough time, and go to class. Eating outdoors becomes quite common too. Who wants to eat dorm food all the time? And living in an apartment, what would you eat if you open your closet one day and realize that it's empty and in need of restocking?

Oh yes, office hours. I can't even explain how important those are. For one thing, the professor of a bajillion students gets to acknowledge you. I don't know, I'm not the best college student there is. I skip classes where roll isn't taken, and sometimes I get behind on my reading and work. It happens. College can be stressing if you feel the pressure to be outstanding. An upperclassmen friend of mine told me that times can get rough, but you should still try to enjoy college because once it's over, the real life begins. So I do try hard to balance school with hobbies. One thing you should know is, don't be afraid to be who you really are. In college, you really are free, so enjoy it to the fullest.

Yours truly,
YC

Money would be nice...

2008-04-15T17:55:00.000-07:00

Yeah, as of right now, I'm officially unemployed. I don't know about you, but being far away where no one really knows you and you barely have any job experience to begin with is difficult for people like me to get a job. I've turned in three job applications, but I haven't heard from a single one of them. Maybe because I turned them in less than two days ago. But still, why won't people just give me a try? I just feel so pathetic and dejected when people look at me and think I'm fourteen or something. Surely it's not my problem that I just happen to look way younger than I really am.

Because I have the nasty habit of spending more money than I have, it's probably best if I maybe sold some things online. Hmm... I'm not really into ebay. Why should I pay ebay for posting an item for sale? That's so idiotic and makes no sense. Alright well, I'll be moping about unemployment. Til next time.

Yours truly,
YC

Identity Crisis

2008-04-13T23:27:00.000-07:00

Yeah, the title says it all. I'm having a huge identity crisis. I kind of feel obligated to please everyone around me. Not that it's a bad thing, but it does get awfully frustrating. I'm just still unsure of what my purpose is. Sometimes I feel so ambivalent about all the decisions that I'm going to have to eventually make. Don't get me wrong, college is really liberating, but there are times that I feel lost without the guidance of my parents; and it feels that much harder to live up to their expectations. Mm... I suppose almost every college student has her reservations at least once before making a crucial decision that'll affect her schooling and her life. So I'm trying to balance school with my artistic hobbies. It's tough at times, but there are always people who bring me back to reality and help me realize that it'll be okay. So with that said, I shall rant no more tonight, and sleep on it. Hopefully I'll wake tomorrow more confident and sure of myself in the morning.

Yours truly,
YC

Not-so-formal Introduction.

2008-04-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

Youqui Chi. No one really knows me, and I don't really mind. I just decided I needed a sanctuary to type my thoughts. I'm young and still deciding what it is I want to do with my life. And I haven't exactly figured it out yet. I've been passionate about art for a long time, so my goal in this lifetime is to inspire and bring joy to others around me through art. I haven't thought about how I'm going to go about this though. I don't exactly have money, a job, or too much support, BUT, I suppose I'll make do with what I have. As for my goal and purpose, it'll all come in time I hope.